tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43081469022879344622024-03-13T20:57:15.987-07:00Another Little Piece of My HeartKaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-76673748596643078862013-01-19T12:15:00.000-08:002013-01-19T12:15:11.994-08:00Preparation!We will be leaving with two checked bags, a purse and two carry ons.<br />
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Yep. We are taking the big leap and moving across the country this spring! We have a date in mind, but it is pending some things like us being able to get the money scraped together to survive for a month or two in case work does not come as quickly as we would like.<br />
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So over the next two or so months, we are going to try and scrape together a few thousand dollars, and finish checking off our packing list.<br />
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We need at least one hiking backpack. I would prefer two though. I figure I managed to fit my whole life into two bags before, I should be able to do it again. Unfortunately now we will be trying to fit two lives! I do intend to try and take a trip home at the end of summer for my birthday though. When we travel, we are going by bus, so we need to keep stuff for almost four days in our carry ons (hence needing the space that a hiking back pack would give).<br />
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Carry on:<br />
electronics: camera, laptop, batteries, phones, chargers.<br />
clothing: at least one complete change of clothes for each of us.<br />
blankets: just one or two small fleece blankets<br />
food: we will have lots of stops along the way (apparently) but I would prefer to save that money and make sure we have enough snacks that we aren't terribly hungry if we miss a rest stop. Veggies, snacks, sandwiches for the first day or two, juice water and pop...<br />
entertainment: our dvds, headphones, cards, a book or two..<br />
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Then there is the fact that we need to bring a blanket and a sleeping bag and some bedding, the best fitting clothes for various activities an seasons... I am hoping we can leave the ski jackets back home until the summer trip. Some cans of food and noodles so that we don't necessarily have to scrounge up groceries as soon as we get to the town.<br />
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My hours at work are really crappy and just look like they are getting worse. So I'm not sure what to do... I'm barely breaking even right now... Monday I'm going to go around and hit up the retail stores in town and see if I can talk my way into a day position the winter months... snow sucks but the mountain is still fairly busy. Fingers crossed I can find a position that can keep me busy until Easter!Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-59544009741748255782013-01-09T22:24:00.000-08:002013-01-09T22:24:20.668-08:00New YearMy only resolution for 2013 is to have a good year.<br />
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2012 is now designated as memory and I'm looking forward to the changes and adaptions that 2013 will bring to me and my family.<br />
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I have to confess, I am surprised I survived 2012 since it had such an incredibly chaotic beginning- mixed with negative and positive life changes from the very get go. I've learned to let go of a lot of the family politics I was struggling with, all though it took me up until the end of the summer to do so! I also learned I need to make the choices in life that are good for me- if they are healthy for me, they either are, or will be, healthy for the family and friends they impact.<br />
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That being said, some major highlights of this last year include the various stages of wedding planning I went through- from shrugging it off, to over planning, to coming to grips with the reality that I do not want nor do I need a white washed wedding staged to the standards of modern society. Yep, we still want our special day and we still want our loved ones to be there and for it to be beautiful, but not at the expence of our sanity, contentment or wallets! After all, isn't the reason you have a ceremony and reception so that you can invite your loved ones to participate and encourage you in your commitment to your partner (and for many to their spiritual head- I fall into this category but not all do :) ).<br />
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I feel like many of the people and relationships I was apart of have dulled. They have not ended, but I feel a strong disconnect to many people. This is not a negative- I know that I can still turn to them regardless of distance when I need, and it's nice to do that every once and again but sometimes distance can also sweeten those moments of catch up. It is also a sign that I do need to let go and move one. This summer I was supposed to move but it was met with many negative remarks and very little help or support from many of the most important people in my life. We - together as a couple - have a plan now, and one that is being held in denial by most people but that still is recieving support.<br />
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Move to northern BC where he has a cousin that will help us in establishing ourselves there. From what we've researched and been told, there are plenty of opportunities. Fingers crossed. Even if there isn't, it can't be worse than where we are and we can guarantee we will both be able to find work there anyways, if not in the fields we are hoping. When we go, we are leaving enough cash behind in an account here for emergency tickets home. This is important to me incase something happens- an emergency in one of our families, or out there something bad happens and we need to come home.<br />
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Hopefully this is the plan we will see come true this year, but if not, then next. It will happen, but hopefully it happens quickly now that we have a place firmly in mind and committed to. If we leave when planned, we will be returning home, taking a week or two in May to be home. This is important because a friend and I are planning a masquerade for Thursday May 23rd. (Keep that day open my friends for it! ) among other events. I suspect we will be bussing for this, so I am expecting we will be home for a week, but on the move for two. If, somehow, we have managed to get all our bills paid and have enough in savings for the flights, then hopefully we will be able to take that option.Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-961495335530306352012-12-15T20:36:00.000-08:002012-12-15T20:36:29.969-08:00Sociopaths, School Killers and Media Contributions<br /><div style="text-align: center;">
"Adolescent violence in general, and homocides in particular, have decreased since 1993, but that hopeful trend has been somewhat obscured in the nationwide wave of concern over school shootings of the type examined in NCAVC's study. This recent form of adolescent violence is in fact quite rare. But the sudden, senseless deaths of teenagers and teachers in the middle of a school day, for no comprehensible reason, is far more shocking and gets far more attention than the less extreme acts of violence that happen in schools every week." -O'Toole</div>
<br /><br />Hi guys, I'm here with my views on the recent media attacks that everyone seems to be thinking, posting, and talking about. I might be a little different though, as I will not be referencing specific events, or naming individuals- you will read why in a little bit. <div>
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A few months ago, I made a post about counselling. I cited several statistics on mental health in youth as well as the views I have formed after struggling with mild social disorders for many years. I still believe that introducing it as a an active part of education in preteen and early teenage development will help the public education system and civil servants to actively improve the lives of young adults. </div>
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The last few days, the only thing I have seen on my re-opened facebook page has been ridiculous and repeated commentary on school shootings. People expressing condolances to individuals they have no connection to through a public forum that will never reach the family of the victims. In particular, a few people have even been posting video footage and stories about how individuals spent their last living minutes. There is something incredibly disturbed in this.</div>
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It is commonly believed that the reason an individual commits these acts and targets the helpless is because they intend to make a statement to the community for whatever reason. When you make them infamous for what they are doing, you are empowering those who would pick up the gun. In fact, more often than not, when someone does commit a horrendous gun show in a public place, a copy cat will follow in their foot steps within two weeks of the initial event.</div>
<br />I posted on my facebook: what happened yesterday was so sad. Yes I agree. It was not tragic because there is no upturn in it( look up tragedy as an archetype). Stop posting your condolences. The families will not see them. You are as bad as the media and unconsciously encouraging others to do this! This is NOT a debate. Comments will be deleted and tomorrow I will remove this. People do shootings like this for publicity. To be talked about. Why is it seemingly so common now? Take a look at how infamous they become when they do!<div>
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I agree that perhaps this is a little bit out of line- not because of what I said but the tone I used to convey it. I don't believe that making senseless comments will help anyone. I do believe they are encouraging and reinforcing the negative behaviour that the media encourages with their 24-7 coverage of these rather isolated incidents. Within minutes of posting it, I had a series of inbox messages telling me I had no right to tell another person how to grieve. Excuse me. Who are you grieving for? Oh right. The victims. I'm sorry. As someone who has dealt with a lot of grief, I must point out that true grief does NOT require a public show of sorrow. Call me a terrible person if you will. I will call you a fake. I returned home from the work party tonight to a series of similar comments- despite my post that they would be removed and should not be posted on my status. I reported each one as spam. I thought about reporting them as harassment since I had clearly stated I did not wish to converse on the matter. One of which was telling me that since she was a mother I had no right to tell her what her opinion was. I'm sorry. I thought I was expressing my opinion. On my page. She was specifically the person I had posted the status about, but I did not post it to her private wall, singling her out about it. I posted it in a general statement and she (among others) chose to disrespect me.</div>
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"Professor Jackson explained that all spree killers have certain things in common – they are unstable, narcissistic, immature and consistently blame others for their failures." Hills</div>
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Someone else told me that since shooters often killed themselves after, they did not do it for the publicity. There is NO profile of sociopathic killer that can be used to identify a killer in advance. However, one thing that hindsight has proven is that each one has had a high level of egocentricity, and narcissism. They are often individuals who have not been acknowledged in something, or wish to throw a temper tantrum and get their way however they must. The promise of knowing they will commit an act that will "raise awareness" is very inticing. Often they do not mean for it to escalate as it does, unless they are one of the rather rare systematic killers. </div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span>"Sociopaths are characterized by a disregard for social obligation and a lack of concern for the feelings of others. They display pathological egocentricity, shallow emotions, lack of insight, poor control of impulsiveness (including a low tolerance for frustration and a low threshold for discharge of aggression), irresponsibility, a lack of empathy for other human beings and of remorse, anxiety or guilt in relation to his/her antisocial behavior. They are usually callous, manipulative individuals, incapable of lasting friendship and of love. They shamelessly lie, cheat, steal, abuse, neglect their relatives and families, and endanger themselves and other people in a reckless manner." -Sabbatini<br /><br />I should not have said they do it for the media coverage. I am sorry about that, however the point does not change that when you disregard the victims grieving and open an individuals entire life up for scrutiny, you are helping other young men and women learn how to do it themselves. Self fulfilling prophecy. </div>
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The thing is, people have been killing people since the dawn of time. A hundred years ago, someone died on the opposite side of the world, it hurt the people who were actually involved in that event and people back near you didn't get any ideas and didn't see a world where they want more attention and want it whether it is negative or positive. Why do we hear about a shooting half an hour after it occured, but a genocide or progrom can take years if not decades, to be acknowledged? I don't get it. Why do people refuse to look at the bigger picture? If the media, the social groups, the social forums, spent their time focusing on understanding the human mind and condition, to looking after themselves and their own, and leaving everything in between to run it's natural course, I have to say that I believe the world would be a much more positive place to live!<br /><br />Oh. Guys. I did my homework.<br /><br />http://www.fbi.gov/stats-services/publications/school-shooter<br />Read more: <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2248345/Connecticut-school-shooting-An-expert-explains-chilling-psychology-spree-killers.html#ixzz2FBP4p91K">http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2248345/Connecticut-school-shooting-An-expert-explains-chilling-psychology-spree-killers.html#ixzz2FBP4p91K</a> <br /><br /><br />http://thebottomline.as.ucsb.edu/2012/11/in-the-mind-of-a-killer-the-psychology-behind-school-shootings<br /><br />http://www.cerebromente.org.br/n07/doencas/index.html</div>
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Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-15371361643492051852012-11-09T12:07:00.002-08:002012-11-09T12:07:29.971-08:00Peter Pan and NeverLand<div style="text-align: center;">
"The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up."</div>
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John C. Maxwell.</div>
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"Dreams do come true, if only we wish hard enough. You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it."</div>
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-JM Barrie, Peter Pan</div>
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Ladies and gentlemen of the internet, I am tired of hearing or saying "maybe", "eventually", "I will try", and "hopefully". These are not terms to keep away a sense of failure. In fact, they actually encourage failure as they remove your responsibility for ultimate decisions. If you do not want to beat yourself up about a failure, use your coping mechanisms. If you do not have appropriate coping mechanisms, take the steps needed to develop those! It is not rocket science and I am tired of seeing this used as a scape goat. Or the phrasing of a promise being used to turn it into something meaningless and legalistic. </div>
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Every body has their flaws and failures. Saying, "I will do whatever I can to make my vision or my goal a success" is not saying that if, at the end of the day, you have fallen a step behind or had a set back that you have failed. It is saying, "you know what? I'm not done yet." I have a tendancy to fall into a "why bother" mentality. This is poisonous. I recognize this and I'm trying to change it. Oh wait. There is that word. Try. No I`m not trying. I AM changing it. It just might take me a little longer than I expected. I take responsibility for my failure, for the people I might have hurt in that momentary lapse of control or the events I might have changed. </div>
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"Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the see of either success or failure in the mind of another."</div>
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-Napoleon Hill</div>
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My guy drives me crazy with the "I can't promise anything but I'll try" philosophy he has. He wants to know that he has not committed to doing something so that if he wants an out or a way around something he has it. When he says "I'll try" I assume he really means that it may or may not ever happen, because his attempts are often surface level (but not all of the time... so it is safer to assume the negative). He is setting himself up to fail at trying, because he now has no real responsibility to actually see something through or complete something. </div>
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Ie: I will try and make it to my doctors appointment translates to, I will call somebody I know has an business meeting that day to see if they can give me a ride. If they can't, at least I tried to get a ride to the appointment. </div>
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Because if he legitimately tries to get a ride to that appointment, and there isn't someone who can drive him, he is going to feel trapped that he can't just get himself there. Or, if he does get a ride and that appointment tells him something negative like he has an infection or something (sorry, its was an example I pulled out of no where so I'm not so organized with it) he is going to wish he hadn't gone because what he doesn't know can't hurt him. </div>
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However, that sense of failure or entrapment is his own attitude. He would chose to look at the negative, not the positive. Not, oh well I can reschedule and everything will be fine. Or, alternately, at least I found out now and can treat it.</div>
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For anyone who uses these terms, I would like you to take a moment and check your motivation. I know I need to do that daily! Do you use them because you legitimately mean there is a chance, or you're going to try your best at something? Or are you saying it because it is absolving you of responsibility if you fail? Here's the thing. Failure is not permanent. So if that is why you are doing it, please stop. Chose silence over words you don't mean or make that commitment to following through! The time something is permanent is when you make it so. Life will give you and infinite amount of options. Not all of them will be good, and not all will be bad. All failure does is weed out one of the negative options and show you a positive one!</div>
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"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."</div>
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Winston Churchill</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 20px;"><br /></span></span>Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-87369263386064868142012-11-05T22:44:00.002-08:002012-11-05T22:52:25.603-08:00November Madness<div style="text-align: center;">
"Write me of hope and love, and hearts that endured."</div>
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Emily Dickinson</div>
<br /><br />Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Well. Evening is perhaps a mis-statement as it is currently 1 am. I have to be awake and active in less than 7 hours and I still have at least one more hour before I can lay my head on the pillow. I am relatively unconcerned about my sleep pattern being disrupted tonight, however, as I do happen to have tomorrow evening off of work.<br /><br />It is November all ready. I know that a few weeks ago I made a post detailing my upcoming posts. I then followed through with only one of them. I am going to make good on those other articles. November will also be the month I bring my views to over a thousand. I started this approximately six months ago. My views were very good for the first two months but have slowly declined and I really have no one to blame but myself. After all, I went from posting regularly, and with thought to nothing but the occasional update.<br /><br />Tonight, I'm going to tell you about NaNoWriMo- specifically about my novel choice.<br /><br /><div>
*****<br /><br />Working Title: River Winds Blow<br /><br />Genre: Historical Fiction<br /><br />Synopsis: Six young women who find their homes in 19th century New Orleans struggle to reconcile personal happiness with the roles that society want to conform them to. Claire struggles to please her family and abusive husband who demand she become a near perfect mother and wife. Elizabeth, American and new to Louisianna, is attempting to force herself into Creole upper class fighting for recognition and position. Helene walks the line between the good daughter and needing to flee to a foreign land to escape her emotions and a completely inappropriate liaison with the bastard son of a Frenchman. Marguerite is fooled by a childhood crush and left alone with a newborn infant bereft of family or support. Caroline ignores the possibility of a well off position as Quadroon mistress and the knowledge that her children could eventually become established merhants and businessmen for a boy running away from his controlling family and heading for the seas. Bridget, an Irish immigrant raising her four younger siblings struggles to understand why she seems to be the only one struggling with provide stability for them, and whether their arrival in New Orleans is the source of the majority of their misery. <br /><br />*****<br /><br />Each section of story features a different character, but they also set up the next section. The goal is that the end of the month will bring 30 sections, and three years of character developments. I feel extraordinarily under qualified to write this story, but I suppose revision and a really good proofing after the second draft will help fix it right up.<br /><br /> I'm a full day behind schedule and if I don't finish on time, I lose the competition aspect of this month. I feel like I did lots of character work, and I do know where I want each character to be at the end of the tale but I do not know how to get them from here to there. Wish me luck, and if I have any semblance of sanity left at the end of the month I promise to work on improving my blogs! <br /><br /> For the few of you that do check this regularly, keep the faith. I haven't abandoned this place!</div>
Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-43764677372116751972012-10-22T00:24:00.001-07:002012-10-22T00:24:48.697-07:00Dear "Grown Ups'If you are reading this, and you are over the age of thirty years old, prepare to be insulted- or stop reading.<br />
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Ready?<br />
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Guess what? You are NOT entitled to be assholes! I'm terribly sorry if some of you find this offensive, but with ten years of service industry work under my belt at this point in time, I have a very strong conviction that this insight needs to be shared with you.<br />
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There seems to be this misunderstanding that adolescents are incapable of making their own decisions, or behaving in a polite fashion, or participating in society. I would really appreciate it if all you bigoted "adults" would throw this notion to the wind and actually look at the people around you. In the last three years, I can count on one hand the amount of times I have been disrespected, or had issues with people between the ages of 12 and 25. In the last three days, I have been treated like garbage, been disrespected and told that I am incapable of making accurate decisions, doing my job and bettering society by more middle aged women than I care to remember. One of them, was so rude I had to lock myself in a freezer at work for almost ten minutes to keep me from telling them where to go and how to get there.<br />
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For those of you who think that teens are incapable of speaking their mind, accessing their emotions productively or curtailing their behaviour, I would dare you to look around the churches, schools and community centres. Who is there doing the majority of the "heavy" work? What makes how they are participating worth less than the 50 year olds contribution? Is it the fact that the fourteen year old hasn't had fourty years of out dated education and experience in a society that is adapting and changing on a seasonal (let alone annual) basis? Or is it because they ask you to fill out a form for them at the end of the day.<br />
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I have found in my experience as a baby sitter, nursury worker, volunteer, and most importantly as a service worker, that the older you get, the more entitled you seem to feel you are to be indignant, rude. abusive, and intolerant. It's time somebody finally disciplined you and told you YOU'RE GROUNDED and if you haven't anything nice to say, shut your mouth and stay at home. Cause guess what? When I get a rude kid in at work and I speak to them in a reasonable tone and tell them to knock it off they usually will and if they don't, they face the consequences of having to deal with a manager or their parents, depending on the circumstance. Typically all I have to do is speak to a teenager or child once in a respectful tone that doesn't treat them like an imbecile and trusts their judgement and for some reason I usually get a positive result. Yet.... treating a fifty year old as a reasonable adult with a respectful tone and trusting that they will have learned to be polite gets the exact opposite reaction. <br />
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I love my job. I love providing service and help to people whether it is at Subway, at the Theater where I worked before, I loved baby sitting, volunteering with different organizations. I know everyone will have a bad day at some point, but your mindset is within your control and you are NOT ENTITLED to take your bad day out on those you encounter in society. Until you learn to be polite, mind your manners, use your please and thank yous, avoid spreading gossip, or being an asshole in general, do the world a favor and lock yourself in your room because you are not contributing the general welfare of society. You are hindering it. You don't know if that clerk you just yelled at is working a 12 hour shift on her birthday because two people called off. You know that cashier you just screamed at because they don't accept a coupon you printed off an email with no barcode on it has no personal ability to fix it, and just because you have grey hair does not necessarily mean you are over 65 so be gracious about it- after all, isn't wisdom supposed to come with age? Pick your stupid battles wisely.Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-90041675551857577942012-10-15T23:55:00.002-07:002012-10-15T23:55:26.375-07:00Sleep well and deepSleep well and deep,<br />
I will see you soon,<br />
Though time decides when that will be.<br />
Sleep deep and sound,<br />
Know I miss you,<br />
Though time meshes my memories.<br />
Sleep sound, and well<br />
You needed rest,<br />
Though time flew far too swiftly.<br />
Sleep well and deep,<br />
I love you mommy.<br />
Time can't change that.Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-34212296844695414162012-10-11T10:29:00.002-07:002012-10-11T10:29:58.752-07:00NaNoWriMoHave you heard of this?<br />
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National Novel Writers Month.<br />
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November 1 - November 30.<br />
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I participate in the online competition: <a href="http://www.nanowrimo.org/" target="_blank">NaNoWriMo</a> . If you finish a 50 000 word novel between the first and the thirtieth, you win! That sounds like a lot of words, but it's really only the length of some university major reports, and it breaks down to just over 1600 words a day- 6 pages. Have you ever been on a writing streak? Once you get into a story, sometimes dozens of pages fly quickly out of the pen. My personal goal is going to be 2 000 words a day - 8 pages.<br />
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It's a fantastic organization that is promoting creativity, dedication, group dynamics (join a home region and participate in a write in or celebration party!). It empowers you. Even if you don't finish it, or commit to a smaller goal personally. I've never finished it. Last year I wrote 17 000 words though, which I thought was pretty good, considering well.... everything that was going on in November, with harassment and my moms funeral and relationship issues. I've never felt I failed but I do always feel driven to commit to the next year. This will be the year I finish writing. Will you buy my book if I finish it?<br />
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<br />Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-20817890312700865392012-10-10T21:16:00.002-07:002012-10-10T21:16:46.836-07:00General UpdateList of upcoming blogs:<br />
- NaNoWriMo approaches!<br />
- Synopsis and concepts for my November novel<br />
- Article on something. I'm not sure yet. Possibly a review from a movie or novel or possibly from the news.<br />
- A memory<br />
- Finally another general post.<br />
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Hey guys, my dedication to updating and writing has sucked this summer! I'm sorry! It's been crazy. My phone got cut off, I was moving and then I wasn't. I quit my job at the theater because I needed a change in my life of some kind, rather desperately and the day of my last shift, I was hired at a new place in town (amazing!). I've been prepping for NaNoWriMo in November, so keep your eyes out for my upcoming updates! The first one should be up tomorrow.<br />
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I am going to work on doing better here. Really. Don't give up on me yet. I hope everyone is doing well! Things have been rough for me since about June and my work and home life was like a hurricane during the summer, fast paced and sweeping me up in it's chaos but I think things have evened out a bit recently.<br />
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Mark has gotten me to promise him I will apply to schools for next September. I am going to apply for Russian, Linguistics, History and International Relations in Alberta... I don't know whether I should hope they will take me, or not. I mean, Mark and I are dedicated to moving next year. We are hoping in the next couple of months to be able to find out how he can apply for a job in the oil fields to get some training or find a good trade opportunity out there for him... school was his solution to my being left alone for periods of time. Still a 3 - 5 year program is a long commitment before you even stop and consider the financial commitment. Wish me luck though! If I can get into linguistics or a language program I could get work as a translator or get my TESL for teaching in North America.Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-15346528097763499882012-09-07T12:39:00.000-07:002012-09-07T12:42:14.924-07:00Black, White, and Rainbow Shades of Right and Wrong.The question today that has been plaguing me, is when do you hold your tongue? My entire life I've been struggling with honesty. Not about BEING honest. I'm pretty honest. There have been times I've lied (yes mom, I did eat all my lunch today.... noooo that wasn't MY sandwich you saw me throw into the hedge on my way up to the door....) or I've stretched the truth because I've been in a tight spot and needed to phrase something a certain way. But in general, I try to be open and honest. I sometimes even use honesty to deflect from more raw emotions. So why do people have such a hard time being honest? Why does my honesty seem to make people confrontational?<br />
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I hate being around dishonesty people. Especially when I owe those people. When do you draw the line, and where? Why do people help others, how do you recognize when they are helping for their own benefit, or using you, and how do you reconcile the need to accept the help and the need to make sure you aren't going to be used? When you know people you love are being lied to, or lying to others, when is it your place to step in? Especially when you have become a target for the lies? I hate manipulation, but even more than that, I hate people who have the gall to just flat out lie. Not even make an effort past saying "no thats not true".</div>
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My "flavor" of the week, as my Nana termed it, is my goal to move to Calgary next year. I don't know if it will happen. I just know I want to get out of here and get away from this town with a hundred years of generational drama pouring down without guilt or shame or manipulation because I chose to distance myself from parts of the family. I am related to probably every other person in my town. I can list by name and relation those people in my family I trust and love - guilt free.I can list the family I like hanging out with, and feel comfortable with. </div>
Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-57526605604243367372012-08-18T13:14:00.001-07:002012-08-18T13:14:30.254-07:00Ramblings from a night of searching travel blogsI have been chronically bitten by the travel bug but cursed with a lack of resources to do go. Once again my feet have gotten that itchy, burning sensation that says: GO SOMEWHERE! My goal has been to travel to a new country, once a year. 2010, I went to Georgia. 2011 I went to the west coast of the US to see friends and be at the wedding for two of my friends. 2012... I have not been so lucky this year. So far I was invited to France by an Aunt but unable to afford it (sadly, it would have cost me only my flight and what I wanted to spend while there) and I had been thinking about making plans to go to Cuba but don't want to travel alone.<br />
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I have never once boarded a plane with somebody else, or shared a trip with somebody who is full time in my life (in Georgia I made some very good friends so I did get to share some experiences with them, but I am talking about family: my parents, sibling, or fiance. When I went to the US I was staying with those friends from Georgia). There were several times when I was travelling that I went<i> hmmm</i> that would be perfect to share with _______.<br />
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I have decided that I want to home school any children I have until they are about gr 6. I do want them in the public school system for the sake of social development and those 'ahah' moments of personal growth. Not to say that children who are home schooled all the way through don't have those. I just don't feel that I would have the resources to provide those through education. Part of why I want to home school is so that I can travel with my family after their school year is done. I am intrigued by the idea of finding creative, budget conscious, ways of bringing their education into their life. It's also a good way of participating in what they are interested in.<br />
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That's several years down the road still, but it's good to have goals made in advance. For now I would just settle for having some money in the bank so that if another opportunity to travel or visit pops up, I could actually take it and go!<br />
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<br />Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-18430878630416815202012-08-10T17:45:00.001-07:002012-08-10T17:45:54.715-07:00Social Networking and the Destruction of QualityI have re opened my facebook account. I never fully shut it down to begin with, but hid everything and kept less than ten people on it because I was a bridesmaid in a wedding and trying to plan my own wedding. Before I deleted everyone and hid all my information, I gave a month of reminders and notification. I put my cell phone number up, I put my private email address up, I put my places of employment out for people to know, and I linked this blog every day letting people know different ways for them to keep in contact with me. In May, when I finally shut it down, the only two people who actually took the time to keep in contact with me were my Nana and my Aunt. Yup. So much for friends right?<br />
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Let me say that I think social networking can be awesome. It has the potential to be used for great good but it has also led to the destruction of quality. Social change groups and activist groups use it as a cheap or free way to get their cause known. As a result, I have actually had to notify some of these groups that I support in other ways that they are spamming me. Some are worse than others. They allow public posting, but do not monitor it. I recieved a lot of flack from people for shutting down my facebook. People I consider friends were unable to find a minute to even text me over the three months. In some cases, they even told other friends and family they were insulted that I did not have them on my facebook anymore. They felt targeted.<br />
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I look for quality in my relationships. I am really sorry if you felt that the only way you achieved quality in our relationship was through facebook. I do have one piece of advice to many of my so-called friends: grow up and give it up! When I text you or call you or message you over and over again asking to hang out and there is always an excuse? Guess what? I'm going to stop doing that. If I ask you to come over for lunch or dinner, or to go out, or to go see a movie or come over and watch a movie and you tell me you're not interested in that, show disinterest in setting a time or date to do that, I'm not going to text, email, call or message you to do those things with me! And if you have a problem with that, CALL ME or TEXT ME or SHOW UP TO MY WORK TO CHECK IT OUT or SHOW UP TO MY HOUSE! Do NOT talk to my sister, my other friends, my family or my fiance because it is none of their business. I'm VERY open with my information because I want to figure out who actually gives a damn about me and will take that extra ten seconds that it takes now to contact me. I'm really sorry if this makes me high maintenence, but I'm really tired of being the only one putting effort into my relationships.Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-85300942827140560662012-07-30T23:09:00.000-07:002012-07-30T23:09:45.682-07:00Fear and Frustration<div style="text-align: center;">
“No good work is ever done while the heart is hot and anxious and fretted.” </div>
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-Olive Schreiner</div>
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So for the last three days, I have been a total and complete mess of emotions. I have been sleeping, crying, eating, repeat. I have barely seen another human being. I have been wallowing in a pit of self pity. It's time I grow up. I am not going to be moving out as I had planned. I don't know what plans to make now. I don't know what to do with my life. Everytime someone tells me I need to do school, I want to scream at them and tell them to shut up and that it's not an option. Mark and I are getting a lot of opposition to our relationship, and support in some unlikely places. When someone voices their opinion I want to just shout at them that it's none of their business. This is made worse by the fact that we are currently living almost an hour apart and don't have regular communication because of phone difficulties. </div>
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I have anxiety. I can usually manage it, or at least pretend to manage it. The last few days have been totally over whelming as I felt all my recent plans disappear. I don't know what I want in life. I don't know how to figure out what I want in life. I know I want to write, but about what or where or when eludes me. I feel this bubbling urge to get things down on paper but I feel under qualified and incompetent. </div>
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The next few months are going to be concentrated on getting a vehicle, writing a story, and finding a new job I think. I don't know. This could all change in the next week again, too. I don't know what my future holds, and I'm guessing you don't have the answers for me either, but hey at least I wrote something down! I need to find a bit of peace and so I'm starting to try and change my mindset because I suspect this is the first step to going down a new path.</div>Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-59012109637727807782012-07-29T11:03:00.000-07:002012-07-29T11:03:10.173-07:00Last Month Count Down<div style="text-align: center;">
"We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths." - Walt Disney</div>
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This is the last month before I move out of my family home. I've lived in the same house since I was 2 years old. It is the same house my father was raised in. My dads biological father died here long before I was born, and my mother has died here. My life in this house has been bitter sweet. Lots of good times but there has been many bad or troubled times here too. </div>
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I've lived overseas for short term, and I lived in an apartment in town for short term but I've never moved out before. I'm taking a big step. My fiance and I will be renting with a friend in the next city over for the first couple of months. Low rent giving us a chance to get our feet under us. I know in the last month and a half my blogging has fallen out of pattern. It's probably going to stay sporadic for a bit of time. </div>
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I can't wait to go and open these new doors. No. I don't know where I'm going to work, or what I'm going to do, but I turn 22 at the end of this month and oddly enough I no longer want to live with my dad and my 18 year old sister. It's not terribly abnormal I don't think. Things are really stressed right now in my family, and unfortunately I don't have the skills to be able to stand up under it for much longer. There is a future and I'm finally starting to get excited for it!</div>Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-84700418308094255352012-07-12T10:11:00.001-07:002012-07-29T10:54:42.566-07:00Preparation and Transition<div style="text-align: center;">
"I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine." </div>
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- Bruce Lee</div>
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I'm in the process of moving. I still have a month and a half before my personal dead line. I'm meeting a lot of criticism for my decision. There are times I just want to take those who are doing this and shake them and tell them to knock it off and let me make my own decisions. I'm 21, almost 22. Why in the world should I want to live at home with my 18 year old sister and my father, in a house outside of a town I hate? <br /><br />I have several reasons but mainly it's just because I want to. Consider me stubborn or bull headed if you want, but I need to start being myself and stop trying to be who everyone else wants me to be. If you're in my life and you care about me, you will respect my decisions and not try to make them any harder. Stop telling me what I should feel, or what I should do. Stop telling me how I should act or where I should be in my life. I don't care. The people I love, I love as individuals. I can not say that I have always agreed with their decisions, nor can I say that I currently love people I loved when I was younger. You grow and change and massive personal decisions can result in massive personality development. This is an acceptable risk.<br /><br />I believe I've arranged where I will be moving to in September (kind of. Waiting for final confirmation that this plan is a go), now I just need to stop spending my pay checks before I get them so that I can actually put money aside! Good news is, July will get me caught up on my bills. Everything I make in August, I should be able to bank. Now hopefully the good hours continue through August as well!</div>Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-68418255421682858402012-07-05T01:32:00.000-07:002012-07-05T01:34:56.903-07:00TourismHey guys, do you see that gorgeous picture in the background? It's of Mestia, Svaneti in the Republic of Georgia.Those towers are hundreds of years old, or older and have survived more history than most of the world knows. The mountains in the background are some of the highest peaks in the world, and do belong to the highest peaks in Europe- the Caucus Mountains.<br />
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The Land of the Gold Fleece? I spent six months there and while I can't say I loved every minute of it, I loved every opportunity I had to get to know the land and the culture itself. It's amazing. I live in a major tourist area, took the travel and tourism course offered at my highschool, worked for two resorts (all though they were short work periods, one very positive and one very negative) and took care of children for tourists at another. I have wanted more people to go to Georgia. I have been interested in finding a way to promote social activism.<br />
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Yesterday a friend of mine who is newly married- and Georgian- created a group on Facebook to promote an initiative her American husband is trying to get going. Adventure tourism in Georgia. I'm *hoping* to join them on this venture, and start a tourism company. Anybody interested in adventure tourism in one of the worlds most beautiful and under explored countries?Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-23219459526721313802012-06-29T11:32:00.001-07:002012-06-29T11:32:53.132-07:00Focus LostOkay, so I suck. I was doing so well! I can't come up with anything to write now though. I mean I have a story line and characters, I still have a format I would like to follow for the blog, but I'm tired. I don't know why. I just feel trapped and isolated right now. I can't wait to get out of here, and I don't know why because it's not so bad. We'll see how things go.Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-60553764873240542392012-06-24T15:11:00.000-07:002012-06-24T15:11:23.080-07:00AbsenceSorry guys! Just a little update so you know I am alive. The last two weeks have been insane. Incredible stress followed by amazing vacation. I went to Toronto for a week- not that amazing a trip, especially since it's only two hours away but since I'm moving there sometime in the next couple of weeks, I got to explore. I settled on a neighbourhood I want to look in. Close to my friends, in an area my Aunt Cheryl likes to visit and it's a good and safe area. On the metro and bus lines as well. I looked online today and there is a listing in the building right next to my friends! $850 / month, utilities included. It's a bachelor, but hey, gotta start somewhere!Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-85417358626544912302012-06-10T20:36:00.003-07:002012-06-10T20:36:38.733-07:00Film vs. NovelSometimes I wish that I felt adequate to write an epic story script. I'm trying to work on my story. The ideas are now over whelming and I'm starting to put ink and pen to paper. Still, I have fallen into my old habbit of writing "scenes".... with much more detail and a script. I want to describe their emotions as well as the surrounding, but I crave that perfect musical score to go in the background, and the right cinematography to go with it... Perhaps I have worked too long at a movie theater and really do need to find a job in a book store or library again. I'm sure my characters will work things out for me.Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-60092498932103964412012-06-06T17:16:00.002-07:002012-06-06T17:16:56.564-07:00No More Bandaids!I am very thankful that I live in Canada. I have education, health care, REASONABLE financial security (all though many would disagree), and for the most part, I do believe that our elected representatives do their very best to actually care about the individuals in our country. What I dislike most is the band aid treatment that is given in the face of serious issues that effect the population on every level: individual, familial, cultural and national.<br />
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In school, at various levels, we have courses and studies that have been "designed" to fit a need. Has anyone heard of the D.A.R.E. program? It is commonly known, felt and acknowedged that this program is ineffective, however it remains the Ministry of Educations leading attempt to head off the development of substance addiction. As of 2010, use of illicit substances in those under the age of 18 was at an all time high. As one of those lucky individuals who can and will admit to never having taken drugs in their life, I can also write here that I've even argued openly with proponents for the DARE Program when they have been doing fundraising events in public places.<br />
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But. This entry is not designed to be a rant about the D.A.R.E. Program. If you feel it works, you probably were one of those individuals who had a positive experience with it, and lets face it, one life impacted by a program is an entire life. Let's not discount that. What I am trying to explain is that I feel there is a very large void left in the education system: addressing root causes. A healthy, confident teenager with a strong sense of self worth is going to be astronomically less inclined to commit a negatively life altering decison.<br />
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Let's review what I recieved in terms of "health" studies in school. In grade 6, we were forced to participate in the D.A.R.E. Program. The officer who did the training for my class (or perhaps it was the class the year after mine?) was later arrested for distributing narcotics to minors. Irony? By the time we had to sign the "covenant" which was supposed to be confidential, and mandatory, most of my friends had all ready done recreational drugs and many had even started to smoke or drink.This was children aged 11 and 12. In my grade 7 class, we had no health program as we were a grade 6/7 split, and the grade 6 students had to go take DARE in a different setting. In grade 8, we recieved the "reproduction" discussion. This is amusing as most students were 13 - 14 years of age by the point. I was a late bloomer and got my period the first day of 7th grade. Many of my fellow students had even engaged in intercourse all ready. We were given a teacher who couldn't even explain the purpose of a bra without getting red, and when we forced a boy in the class to ask her where babies came from, she burst into tears. In grade 9, our health class centred around: do you want kids? Yes, well wait until you're out of school. No? Don't have sex. Oh and by the way, the town has a sex clinic you can go to for free birth control. Grade 12, was given by the religion teacher (as I had switched schools) as part of her class. It involved trying to scare everyone into staying celibate- cause that works.<br />
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Throught the later part of my secondary education, a strong emphasis was put on needing to have a defined vision for the future. In grade 10, you had to have a mandatory half credit in Careers. In grade 11, Guidance began student consultations, where they called you by name and class for an appointment to discuss your post secondary options. In grade 12, the same appointment was called again. These were given during class time. As a result, I exited highschool still unsure of how to actually apply to the schools, but knowing about different programs and funding options and course availability. I knew how to check and see if something I was interested in would actually make me a lot of money. These educational resources, I feel, were largely successful. Of course, there were those who chose not to attend, found ways out of their appointments, and were utterly bewildered when attempting to navigate post-secondary options. There were also those who had all ready dropped out of school.<br />
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Why are we so good at giving options but not providing the resources for youth to reach those options? I have thought a lot about my own mental health and those of several friends and family. The common thread is that if we had been able to recieve adequate education and assessment during the life altering time period of puberty, we might have been able to address life altering issues as they began to develop- nipping them in the bud.<br />
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So lets employ the problem solving method my grade 5 teacher, Mrs. Cuthbert taught us.It requires four parts:<br />
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Question:<br />
What educational reformation could possibly help children to develop the healthiest future (steering them away from: suicide, teen pregnancy- or "accidental" pregnancy at any time, substance abuse, and development of serious mental disabilities).<br />
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Facts:<br />
25% of adults in North America suffer from psychological disorders or serious mental illness. 50% of these adults developed their disorders prior to the age of 24. 10% of children under the age of 18 live with a <i>SERIOUS </i>mental illness or disorder. Only 1 out of 3 adults with a disorder ever receive treatment for it. Less than 1/2 of those under the age of 18 will recieve counseling to recieve treatment or diagnosis. 45% of those who suffer from one mental disorder, also suffer from other mental disorders as well. 1 out 5 Canadians between age 15 and 24 display symptoms of dependency on alcohol or illicit narcotics. Most mental disorders are treatable through a variety of means if they are diagnosed in time.<br />
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Ramifications of undiagnosed mental disorders: The classic lack of self esteem and self work, poor self imaging, self-fulfilling prophecies, and inability to follow a moral or legal code but are not limited to these. 50% of those between 15 and 18 years of age, who develop mental disorders, will drop out before the completion of secondary level education (high school). 70% of those in juvenile reform programs suffer from severe mental illness. Those who enter adulthood untreated, have a higher rate of developing severe, chronic, medical conditions. Their life expectancy rate decreases by 25 years. 1 out of every 3 deaths in children between age 10 and 18 are from suicide. For every person who dies by suicide, 25 other individuals have attempted it, and the deceased has most likely attempted or considered it roughly 18 times while they have tried to reach out to friends and family, coming across in a "bid for attention". 90% of these individuals have a treatable mental disorder. 1 out of every 4 people under the age of 24 will seriously consider killing themselves.<br />
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Strategy:<br />
One must know the results, and address the root causes.<br />
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Suggested Conclusion:<br />
Integrate counseling during important developmental periods in a child's life.<br />
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Proposal:<br />
Once a term, starting between grade 4 and 6, have designated one on one time with a counsellor (in the case of Collingwood, where we all ready have a public health team, bring in one of the public counselors, and offset the group lessons with a half hour meetings!) so that students have a safe forum to discuss big events in their life, and have an early diagnosis for at risk children.<br />
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What are your thoughts on the subject and my proposal? Do you feel you did or would have benefit from counseling during puberty?<br />
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<br />Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-32973863994325384802012-06-04T13:12:00.001-07:002012-06-04T13:12:24.359-07:00Relationships: Good, Bad, and Ugly<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">"You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly."</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">- Sam Keen</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">To say that I grew up in a traditional family would be inaccurate. I grew up with a mommy, daddy, sister, dog and cat all living in one household. We sure didn't step out of <i>'Leave it to Beaver' </i>though! We fought, tore each other's hair out, laughed and cried. There were times I hated my mom, resented my sister, cried cause I thought my daddy was mad at me. There were times when my mom was the first person I ran to with a scraped knee, my sister was the reason I had to go beat up that boy who made her cry, and my dad was the one who dealt with the boy who had made ME cry. There were issues in my relationships with my parents that took me halfway across the world, but at the end of the day, the only reason I came back at all was the love I had for, and felt from, my family. My mother and father did not have a perfect relationship. What, to my eyes, made their relationship so special was that they stuck together through thick and thin and they always supported each other. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Mark and I have raised eye brows at the fact that we are still together. We do not have a perfect relationship, because we are not perfect people. I have my own issues I have to deal with and he does as well. One plus one, does not equal one, contrary to what many people seem to think. We are learning how to be an individual so that we can know how to be a couple. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Earlier today, I was doing research on aspects that most successful relationships have. It gave the ten most important to the survival of a relationship, and I know for a fact that I have eight out of those ten in my relationship! This was exactly what I was looking for, but did not impact me the way I had thought it would. I expected to feel a little lost and worried after reading it. Instead I feel reassured and content. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">1- Friendship. Mark and I spent an entire month just trying to get to know each other, before he manned up and asked me properly, if I would like to go out with him. We had a strong attraction to each other right away, but we did not just jump right into a relationship. In the year and a half since, we have spent time getting to know each others families, history and friends. Mark and I have told each other things, without judgement or repulsion that we would not tell (almost) anyone else.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">2- Humor. For me, this is another sign of friendship. I am not very good at this, but he is absolutely wonderful at it. Sometimes too much so (using it to deflect).</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">3- Communication. Without pushing, we try very hard to communicate with each other. We do not communicate in the way that we necessarily should all of the time- so many years spent hiding and keeping and locking things away, but it is something we have tried to be honest with.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">4- Chore sharing. Mark hates laundry and I hate dishes. We both hate a dirty living room but he hates to sweep or vacuum and I dislike dusting. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">5- Sexual Intimacy. The description the website gave of this pointed out that this is something that also needs to be discussed and shared equally... I am choosing not to go into details here but this is probably our best example of successful communication between each other.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I'm halfway to the end of the list!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">6- Affection: It points out that couples who stay in physical contact some way each day have appeared to have the happiest relationships. Not necessarily leading to physical intimacy but that even that leads you to realize your partner is thinking about you each day. We don't have issues here, MOST of the time. Mark has two different homes. Here and Toronto and unfortunately Toronto is all consuming and communication is nearly non existent when he is there.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">7- No "Horsemen of the Apocalypse". Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. No description necessary here really. While we both struggle with the left over fears of this from our past relationships- friendships, romantic and family- we also know that we can trust each other not to commit these actions when we do try to communicate.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">8- Mutual and Separate Friends. :) <-- This says it all. Exclusively mutual friends is dangerous.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">9- Reliability. Mark and I are very different in this regard. We know that we are not equal here and this is the second issue we have in our relationship.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">10- Relationship Vision. An idea of what you want and where you want to be, ten or twenty years. Tomorrow might be a mystery but hey if we know what we want in life, we can face the challenges that pop up in between here and there. Mark and I have a pretty decent vision which stems from our communication.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">So what were the two we had issues with? Communication and Reliability. Probably the two most destructive but our communication will improve. Until these two do improve, however, we can't plan a wedding. So we have delayed (not removed or replaced) our vision for the future. </span>Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-43327879110624967812012-06-02T10:16:00.002-07:002012-06-02T10:19:00.958-07:00Why writing was easier in high school<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">"Writing about a writer's block is better than not writing at all"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">- Charles Bukowski</span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />I have been in a writing slump for... three years. When I was in high school, I wrote on a daily basis. Assignments, interest based reports and far too often, stories that replaced the math work I was supposed to be focusing on. There are all kinds of writing that I could focus on: at the root, there is fiction or non-fiction. These then break down into all the various types and genres- fantasy, contemporary, historical, autobiographical and memoir, biographical, reports, studies... then after that, there is your focus, for fiction you have character, plot, event driven stories. I have always written plot and event driven stories. Friends have told me that while I am unable to write script style, my stories have read more like movie scenes by chapter. I use this to make up for my perceived inadequacies in character. <br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">"The better work men do is always done under stress and at great personal cost"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">-William Carlos Williams</span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />When I was in school, words and characters and plots came easily. I have decided that this is due to the fact that I ignored everything else in favor of writing. I have a report due next week, worth 30% of my grade? Oh well. I have a chapter I want to try and get out for tomorrow. Oh, my report is due tomorrow? Guess I should start it... I have concluded that I was lazy but focused. I hated my life so I read and I wrote, but over the past few years, my life has grown. Its not amazing or perfect, but there are enough of those little moments of bliss that I am content in mediocrity. I don't feel the hunger to try and get my work done, and I don't experience the anger that makes me throw it away in a rage and use foul language to describe it. I can not recall the last time I wrote a poem I was proud of or wanted someone to ever read it. I struggle to come up with an "exciting" plot or concept now. So when I find one, I throw myself into planning and story line because I feel unable to write the story itself. It's for this reason I have routinely written with other friends and contacts as well. <br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">"Don't try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It's the one and only thing you have to offer"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">-Barbara Kingsolver</span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br />For the first time in my life, I am not focusing on on what story to tell to get people interested. I'm attempting to focus on the people who will make the story. Bear with me, as I am out of practise with writing beyond the planning stage! I am writing "unscripted". Also: be excited- I'm writing unscripted! But I have put myself on a self-imposed time line. I have two months, start to finish, along with my regular updates, here.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-9633780071911178402012-05-29T19:02:00.001-07:002012-05-29T19:02:24.067-07:00Not for Sale: Resourceful EducationVersion:1.0
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', monospace;">Based
out of California, USA, Not for Sale is an organization dedicated to
abolition and education. They act to educate people on the ways that
trafficking occur world wide, attempt to provide fare trade options
for consumers, and act on the frontline to remove men, women and
children from unhealthy, unlawful situations of trafficking.</span></div>
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<br />
</div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', monospace;">David
Batstone credits the original idea for Not for Sale from an article
he read, similar to Craig Kielburger of Ontario, that gave details on
a slavery and trafficking related death. </span>
</div>
<div align="LEFT" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', monospace;">Different
abolitionist movements cite different numbers on how many people are
trafficked annually and how many people currently live in slavery
around the world. Not for Sale gives a number that many sources list:
about 30 million. That is nearly the entire population of Canada.
This is the number of people currently trafficked or held for the
purpose of exploitation and covers any number of different fields.
For those readers who have a strong sense of empathy towards people
suffering, I recommend you click the link at the bottom, and explore
the different avenues of education that this organization offers. It
is not just field work, but there are classes and options for those
who wish to work on the home field to help stop trafficking. Explore
the slavery map and see what's listed. I was surprised to find an
article about the next town over from myself I had never heard about,
and find that an event I did know of had not been listed. It may
surprise you to look at what actually occurs in your back yard. </span>
</div>Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-37516242308966293662012-05-28T08:50:00.002-07:002012-05-28T08:50:54.615-07:00Mayhem and Madness, Unreal RealityHey guys, so in the last week my life has gotten a little bit messy. I should still update on time, as this is something incredibly important, but I am going to leave the almost journalistic ones out of it, for now. However, I will still be posting three times a week, attempting to do so on Monday's, Wednesday's, and Thursday's. I'm really excited to say that in the last two weeks, I have had 120 hits on these posts. If you have not had a chance to look through my previous posts, I hope you do so.<br />
<br />
I previously stated that my goal was to post a personal update, an article or review, and then a reflection. It is far more likely that I will be posting some of my previously posted writing (stuff you can find elsewhere on the internet), an article or review, and then one that will be in different categories (see my business proposal update, and in the future I plan to include survey's and requests for opinions on different story lines or characters. I may post synopsis' of my new or upcoming writing or details about certain stories or characters). For now, you will have to forgive me, I am going to post a story I wrote at age 14 for my English class. I got the equivalent of an A+ on it, and a note from my teacher that they did not want to know what lead me to write it. When I was 18, I re-worked the story and submitted it to my first writers craft teacher. She was not nearly as content with it. Her criticism was that it was not realistic. Read it and let me know what you think?<br />
<blockquote>
<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;">Date: 6th February, 2008</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;">Draft: #2</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;">Title: Unreal Reality</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;"><i></i></span></span></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;"><i>The girl stood as a lone survivor. She was the destructive hurricane that had wrecked everything in her path and was, only now, slowly dying. With little heed to the remaining proof of her earlier temper, the girl kicked any of the objects she felt were unnecessarily hindering to her out of her way as she journeyed the remaining five steps to the far corner of her room.</i></span></span> </blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;"><i>There she stood, oddly detached, as she surveyed her reflection in the mirror. It was a full-length mirror, and it was one of the only objects that remained intact in her room. The girl cocked her head as she looked at herself. It took a moment for her to even realize that she was, indeed, looking at herself. The reflection that looked back from the mirror at her was far removed from the other her she knew. This reflection looked nothing like the other girl, this reflection resembled a bloody wraith.</i></span></span> </blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;"><i>The girl looking back at her had bloody gouges down her face, the rapidly drying red was the only color on a face that was otherwise the color of death. A receding redness in her eyes left behind a deep and vivid green coloring. Smudges of mascara had not fully been wiped off by the scalding hot water. The water had also caused red and nearly raw spots over much of her skin that she knew would fade and disappear by morning. Her hair was a rapidly drying tangle of auburn curls, and blood dripped from viscous scratches that criss-crossed each other across her legs and arms.</i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;"><i><br /></i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;"><i>She had a headache. The Advil she had taken earlier had not helped. It grew progressively work instead and now her stomach also hurt as well. She turned to the shelf where she normally kept her migraine relief- only to find that she had knocked the shelf at some point, from the wall. Clutching the corner of her towel she knelt and shifted piles of her belongings until she found what she had been searching for. Picking up the bottle of extra strength migraine relief Advil, she quickly and efficiently dry swallowed the capsules. Carefully she walked the other two steps to her bed. The girl crawled into the corner of the mattress where the two walls of her room met. Here she curled up, he back in the corner and slept almost immediately, exhausted from the spending of so much emotional energy just an hour before. </i></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;">It was still dark outside when, just a short three hours later, her alarm went off jolting her into the world. Thought she wanted to hit the snooze as any average teenager would, she instead stretched and climbed from her corner. Gathering the towel about her again, the girl went back to the shower.</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;">This time she did not scald herself with the water. The girl did not tear out her hair or gouge out her skin. She had bitten off her nails so she could not again scratch herself. Her eye color had faded back again to the neutral hazel it always was. The couple hours of sleep had done nothing to abate the headache so she took three more Advil capsules, and suddenly the girl from hours before was gone, and the other girl had returned. Choosing her outfit carefully and applying her makeup with perfection she hid the signs of the night before. She readied herself for the day of school before her, smiling to herself and hiding any sign that she was not feeling well.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;">Throughout the day she laughed and joked with her classmates. At lunch she hid in the library, taking a few more pills for the migraine so she could focus on her reading. By the end of the day she had all but forgotten the other girl.</span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 11px;">As she stood at her locker, every now and then someone would stop and talk to her. She would wave and make a return comment, smiling and discussing classes or homework. Nobody mentioned the look that was new to her that day. They didn’t ask if she was all right when she fell silent at moments, or the far away and lonely look she had tried unsuccessfully to hide all day.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;">She swallowed a few more Advil to keep her from getting sick on the walk home from school. She intended to go home, do her homework, take a bath, eat a light supper and then sleep right through to the next day. That being decided, she headed for the half an hour walk home.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;"><i>When the students got to school the next morning, she didn’t come in. It wasn’t a big deal since she had seemed pretty ill the day before. They all figured she’d just been sick and so no one was really worried. The first announcement of the morning was made by the principle.</i></span></span></blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;"><i>His voice, which was normally cheery and an attempt to grab people’s attention, was quiet and subdued. The change in tone caused more quiet than it would have otherwise. “Hello students,” he began, “last night on of your class mates was killed. A truck hit her on her way home from school. She reportedly walked into the oncoming transporter and was dead from her injuries by the time the police arrived.”</i></span></span> </blockquote>
<blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;"><i>He stopped for a moment. Perhaps to collect wayward thoughts and gather them into a coherent statement. “It is always awful when we loose one of our students, but especially when we loose one in this manner. It seems that it was a successful suicide attempt, and the driver did not see her prior to the collision.” He let this sink in before continuing, “There is a social worker and investigating officer here this afternoon, anyone with information on this student is asked to come and talk to them and tell them what they know or what they may have noticed in the past couple of days. There are also grief councilors available after the announcements today for anybody who would like to see them. Thank you.” With those final two words, the Principle’s voice died.</i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;"><i><br /></i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Verdana, Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span style="font-size: 8pt; line-height: 11px;"><i>None of the girl’s classmates said anything for several long moments. The teachers asked if anybody knew anything- but nobody did. They asked if anybody needed to go to guidance to see the councilors, but nobody did. </i></span></span></blockquote>Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4308146902287934462.post-51711053115200416542012-05-26T16:36:00.003-07:002012-05-26T16:36:47.645-07:00Poetry for a purpose<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I started writing several years ago. There has been very few items I have ever been proud to claim as my own though. When I was in my early teens, I began to try at writing poetry. Today I will share the two pieces I am most proud of. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Number one: It is a memorial poem I wrote when my uncle died close to christmas a few years ago. I read it at the funeral, as I stood with my sister and his eldest daughter who was my best friend for quite some time. Please acknowledge the fact that these poems are cited as mine, and while I do not mind if you use them for something else, that they were written with certain purposes and emotional commitments behind them.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Number two: Was one I wrote to go with a piece of artwork I drew- one of the very few that turned out anything like I had hoped they would. It was also intended to be the prologue to a story line I have worked on and off with for quite some time. Eventually, this poem will act either as a chapter heading, or the prologue itself. Again, note that these are mine, and I have posted them elsewhere on the internet with the copy right to myself.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">Angels singing in the sky,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">Though man can't see them with his eye;</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">But you who's gone can see their splendor,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">Shining light, the path of the mender.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">Time will pass, and we’ll move on,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">Though no doubt you won’t be gone.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">As long as those who knew you best,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">Continue to remember, you may rest.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">You blazed your path-</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">Though your life was short,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">You left your family</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">-With good memories in their heart.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">You had your share of ups and downs,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">Though your love, it knew no bounds.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">We’ve got to go, and let you Live;</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">Though it won’t be easy, we’re willing to forgive,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">That you went and left us, because your pain is over,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">Good-bye and please, make sure we don’t surrender.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">To the times around, help us be strong, and maybe it won’t really seem that long,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">For next we see you, then we’ll all be much better.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"> </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;">~*~*~</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-size: 12px; line-height: 19px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Faeries here, so bravely dancing;<br />Wings of light, dreams enhancing,<br />This realm of flight I enter here<br />Though I'm just a mortal mere.<br /><br />The trail ahead is lost to sight-<br />The mornings sun is burning bright.<br />No sign of anyone, the path seems cold,<br />Yet night of last they danced so bold.<br /><br />Here and there among the grass<br />A ring is found, though it isn't brass;<br />Not set in gold, no jewels found<br />A fairy home, they danced round and round. </span></span>Kaihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17133172787301381654noreply@blogger.com0